bonus baseball!

A game of inches.
A game of feels.

July 23, 2012: Melky Cabrera nails Ryan Theriot in the groin with a throw from left field, then grins about it as Theriot confirms that he’s all right.

GIFcap: I guess this is the only time where it’s ok to reach for another person’s crotch in public This is just another reason why baseball fans are so great: we’re always trying to help each other out any way we can. And I believe this is my third post about baseballs in the crotch in the last two days, and I would make the excuse that I’m just trying to get it out of my system or something, but I’m afraid that would be a lie because baseballs in the crotch will always occupy a special place in my heart. (GIF by Chad Moriyama, resized)

GIFcap:

I guess this is the only time where it’s ok to reach for another person’s crotch in public

This is just another reason why baseball fans are so great: we’re always trying to help each other out any way we can.

And I believe this is my third post about baseballs in the crotch in the last two days, and I would make the excuse that I’m just trying to get it out of my system or something, but I’m afraid that would be a lie because baseballs in the crotch will always occupy a special place in my heart.

(GIF by Chad Moriyama, resized)

Gordon’s painful foul

5/16/12: Alex Gordon fouls a ball off himself before doubling over in obvious discomfort in the 15th inning

Alternate video caption: Alex Gordon hits himself in the groin, then laughs about it because even he can’t deny that it’s funny.

eBay Item Of The Day, from Jim Baker: I don’t care what century you’re in, a guy getting it in the crotch with a ball will always be funny. Have truer words ever been spoken? I think not.

eBay Item Of The Day, from Jim Baker:

I don’t care what century you’re in, a guy getting it in the crotch with a ball will always be funny.

Have truer words ever been spoken? I think not.

Posted on 7/13/12

ari-twice:

Here’s Justin Verlander drilling homeplate umpire Alan Porter in the balls. And then laughing about it on the mound.

The little shrug he does while giggling.

Someone should make a Tumblr that documents every time a player, an umpire, a coach, or a fan gets hit in the groin with a baseball, in GIF form, so that future generations may enjoy them as we do today. I can think of no better gift for our children than a crotch shot time capsule. I mean, I have no idea what kind of place the world will be 50 years from now, but I do know that seeing dudes get hit in the balls will always be objectively hilarious.

The anatomy of a crotch shot

thescore:

This is Alex Gordon fouling off a ball right into … himself. Gordon’s reaction is one you would expect from a man who just sent a baseball flying straight into his groin. Matt Wieters feels for him and also reacts accordingly. What this GIF does not show, however, is Gordon’s subsequent reaction after the initial shock that comes from hitting yourself in the crotch with a baseball has passed:

Alex Gordon is smiling. The fact that he can smile after such an occurrence is proof that a) he doesn’t take himself too seriously and is able to laugh at himself after recognizing the sheer absurdity of the situation and b) he is probably made of some kind of steel or titanium alloy.

This season is shaping up to be a big one for nether regions getting hit by baseballs, and if there’s one quote to summarize why crotch shots will continue to mesmerize and amuse humankind for all eternity, it’s this: “But the ball! His groin! It works on so many levels!”